I used to write a lot... maybe not on here... but I used to write and draw... mostly when I was hurt, or down, or feeling alone in life. Just to pass the time, the pain, etc.. However, most of the time I'd just write, stories, and poems, and quotes.. I don't do that anymore, every once in a while I'll find a picture that attracts me, and I will want to draw it... but I hardly finish it because I don't have the same push to finish it..
I have someone I love with all of my heart, that never really hurts me. He makes me so happy by allowing me to be a part of his life. I'm constantly afraid that I will loose him and be forever hopeless.
Without hope, many things come to a complete halt, failure. Many people use the term hopeless lightly. This is not the case.
I finished my second semester in college, it was hard, but I always had someone to push me to do better, to try harder and most of the time it was the man that I love.
I am going into my third semester now, and I doubt that it will be any easier. There are a lot of heavy thoughts on my mind, but not about what I am going to do... About what he is going to do. I can be whatever he needs me to be, but I always want him in my life. Til the day I die.
I don't draw or write anymore, because while I am sad for some people. I am not sad anymore.. I am not all the way happy either, there are many challenges that I need to overcome.. I have no experiences to really write about.
I see my sweet, love almost everyday and I must leave him everyday.
I used to go to school almost everyday, but now it will only be two days a week.
I do homework everyday.
And I go to work almost everyday.
That is my life right now, and it is tight.
I don't have room for much more than that.
I still have a curfew.
Not making much more than minimum wage.
Still living with my parents.
I know it won't always be so boring,
That one day I really will be a nurse.
I will save people on a daily bases,
I will see people die.
I will get married and have a kid.. maybe 2.
And eventually I will retire,
and I will die.
But for now, this is my life, and not only have I accepted that, but I kinda like it.
30 December, 2011
02 October, 2011
Yehp.
I've made it to my second semester of college. And I'm starting to loose it again... of course there are midfinals coming up.. wish me luck.
27 September, 2011
Quotes that I happen to LOVE
1.) Yeah, its tough when you came from two completely different worlds.
you just need to learn to merge them together
2.) So pull me closer and kiss me harder, I don't care how wrong it is,
Cause baby I'm at home in your arms.
3.) Sometimes I wish my eyes were not as wide,
and my dreams were not as big,
and my heart was not as open.
Sometimes I just wish that I didn't fall in love with the world so easily.
4.) Being yourself is all you can do right now.
Be young. Be free.
In the end, there will be that one person waiting.
5.) If I could be anything, I would be your tear so I could be born in your eyes,
live down your cheek, and die on your lips.
6.) His eyes, hypnotizing. His smile, tantalizing.
Inside I'm dying. But I'll keep trying.
Don't let go. Don't let me go.
I'll keep fighting. If you keep trying
7.) If I had to choose between breathing and loving you I would use my last breath to tell you I love you
8.) you might not hear it, but she gasps every time you meet her eyes.
you might not see it, but she smiles every time you're nearby.
you might not know it, but she doesn't shut up about you all day long.
9.) she blows big bubbles with her gum and laughs when they pop all over her pretty face.
she dances in her victoria's secret underwear.
she takes crazy pictures and then posts them on her facebook.
and to her friends, she's a star.
because she's realized that life is way too short to be crying over the jerk that broke her heart
10.) I have proof that bad things happen to good people,
and good things happen to bad people. you happened to me, and I happened to you.
11.) he asked what happened to that smile, the one i never left the house without.
i answered, you took it with you when you said goodbye.'
12.) Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other,
but in looking outward together in the same direction.
13.) Once you have loved, you will always love for what's in your mind may escape,
but what's in your heart will remain forever.
14.)The real test of true love is having all the things go wrong
but still having a special way to love inspite of all the wrong things that may happen.
15.) My boyfriend used to ask his mother,” How can I find the right women for me?"
And she would answer, "Don’t worry about finding the right women –concentrate on becoming the right man."
16.) If you love someone you would be willing to give up everything for them,
but if they loved you back theyd never ask you to.
17.) I swear, I'd rip my heart out
if you said you'd be impressed,
18.) I'm messy,
& sarcastic,
& jealous,
& vain,
& I'm standing here, asking you to love me, for all that I am.
19.) I've got lightning in my veins, thunder in my chest.
All tangled up with you, and trying to catch my breath.
20.) The only thing better than the kiss itself, is the moment right before it,
when the look in his eyes leaves you breathless
21.) Whenever I'm around you, I feel like I'm letting my guard down.
It's dangerous, but still a strangely easy thing to do.
22.) Sometimes we just need to get out, get away,
And momentarily forget everything in order to realize
That what we have really isn't that bad.
23.) ”Nerves and butterflies are fine -
they're a physical sign that you're mentally ready and eager.
You have to get the butterflies to fly in formation, that's the trick.” -Steve Bull
24.) The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
It takes up all of your time and what do you get at the end of it?
A death. What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home.
You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work.
You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink, you party, you get ready for high school.
You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play,
you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby.
You go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating,
then you finish off as an orgasm.
25.) don't go for the guy who sucks up to you,
go for the one who pisses you off on a daily basis
and yet you still find yourself crazy in love with him.
26.) I feel dangerous when I pick flowers from other peoples gardens… I like the rush
27.) We’re dorkier than a box of nerds =p
28.) & its that feeling like your heart is being thrown in a blender,
or squished with a door, or stomped on.
but you take it.
you take it because its all you can do.
you take it because its better than never knowing him at all.
29.) You make my heart skip beats like scratched cds
30.) see now, i could try & lie. say you never cross my mind. but youre the unforgettable kind.
31.) I lean forward, knowing this will be written,
and I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles.
"Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."
"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds.
We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."
-To Write Love On Her Arms
32.) You know what is the difference between promises and memories? We break promises, whereas memories break us.
33.) We all have our time machines.
Some take us back, they're called our memories.
Some take us forward, they're called our dreams.
34.) Some call it heaven I call it home
some call it dreaming let me dream on
some call it paradise somewhere beyond the skies
some call it heaven I call it home
35.) I am weak
I am worn
Thru the storm
Thru the night
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand
Precious Lord
Lead me home.
37.) "Regarde Le Ciel" - Look at the sky.
38.) "Hime" - Princess <3
you just need to learn to merge them together
2.) So pull me closer and kiss me harder, I don't care how wrong it is,
Cause baby I'm at home in your arms.
3.) Sometimes I wish my eyes were not as wide,
and my dreams were not as big,
and my heart was not as open.
Sometimes I just wish that I didn't fall in love with the world so easily.
4.) Being yourself is all you can do right now.
Be young. Be free.
In the end, there will be that one person waiting.
5.) If I could be anything, I would be your tear so I could be born in your eyes,
live down your cheek, and die on your lips.
6.) His eyes, hypnotizing. His smile, tantalizing.
Inside I'm dying. But I'll keep trying.
Don't let go. Don't let me go.
I'll keep fighting. If you keep trying
7.) If I had to choose between breathing and loving you I would use my last breath to tell you I love you
8.) you might not hear it, but she gasps every time you meet her eyes.
you might not see it, but she smiles every time you're nearby.
you might not know it, but she doesn't shut up about you all day long.
9.) she blows big bubbles with her gum and laughs when they pop all over her pretty face.
she dances in her victoria's secret underwear.
she takes crazy pictures and then posts them on her facebook.
and to her friends, she's a star.
because she's realized that life is way too short to be crying over the jerk that broke her heart
10.) I have proof that bad things happen to good people,
and good things happen to bad people. you happened to me, and I happened to you.
11.) he asked what happened to that smile, the one i never left the house without.
i answered, you took it with you when you said goodbye.'
12.) Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other,
but in looking outward together in the same direction.
13.) Once you have loved, you will always love for what's in your mind may escape,
but what's in your heart will remain forever.
14.)The real test of true love is having all the things go wrong
but still having a special way to love inspite of all the wrong things that may happen.
15.) My boyfriend used to ask his mother,” How can I find the right women for me?"
And she would answer, "Don’t worry about finding the right women –concentrate on becoming the right man."
16.) If you love someone you would be willing to give up everything for them,
but if they loved you back theyd never ask you to.
17.) I swear, I'd rip my heart out
if you said you'd be impressed,
18.) I'm messy,
& sarcastic,
& jealous,
& vain,
& I'm standing here, asking you to love me, for all that I am.
19.) I've got lightning in my veins, thunder in my chest.
All tangled up with you, and trying to catch my breath.
20.) The only thing better than the kiss itself, is the moment right before it,
when the look in his eyes leaves you breathless
21.) Whenever I'm around you, I feel like I'm letting my guard down.
It's dangerous, but still a strangely easy thing to do.
22.) Sometimes we just need to get out, get away,
And momentarily forget everything in order to realize
That what we have really isn't that bad.
23.) ”Nerves and butterflies are fine -
they're a physical sign that you're mentally ready and eager.
You have to get the butterflies to fly in formation, that's the trick.” -Steve Bull
24.) The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
It takes up all of your time and what do you get at the end of it?
A death. What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home.
You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work.
You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink, you party, you get ready for high school.
You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play,
you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby.
You go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating,
then you finish off as an orgasm.
25.) don't go for the guy who sucks up to you,
go for the one who pisses you off on a daily basis
and yet you still find yourself crazy in love with him.
26.) I feel dangerous when I pick flowers from other peoples gardens… I like the rush
27.) We’re dorkier than a box of nerds =p
28.) & its that feeling like your heart is being thrown in a blender,
or squished with a door, or stomped on.
but you take it.
you take it because its all you can do.
you take it because its better than never knowing him at all.
29.) You make my heart skip beats like scratched cds
30.) see now, i could try & lie. say you never cross my mind. but youre the unforgettable kind.
31.) I lean forward, knowing this will be written,
and I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles.
"Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."
"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds.
We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."
-To Write Love On Her Arms
32.) You know what is the difference between promises and memories? We break promises, whereas memories break us.
33.) We all have our time machines.
Some take us back, they're called our memories.
Some take us forward, they're called our dreams.
34.) Some call it heaven I call it home
some call it dreaming let me dream on
some call it paradise somewhere beyond the skies
some call it heaven I call it home
35.) I am weak
I am worn
Thru the storm
Thru the night
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand
Precious Lord
Lead me home.
37.) "Regarde Le Ciel" - Look at the sky.
38.) "Hime" - Princess <3
10 July, 2011
Change
Wow... how do I even begin? Change is something that everyone looks forward to at some point.. but right now... I do not like this at all. I miss people, I miss things.., I miss me. Graduating, getting a job, going to college, it's taking me away from all that I've known. I don't know people anymore... I don't do anything except work and study and go to school... and I'm most definitely not myself.. I know it sounds strange but I probably haven't been me in about two yrs... It makes me sad. That is all.... I guess that's the main reason for this post.... is just to clear my mind... but I haven't been me in so long... idk if I can again... or if I should... because in some ways I'm better... but now instead of being unhappy about other people... I'm unhappy about myself.. =[
18 April, 2011
27 January, 2011
12 January, 2011
TWLOHA
http://www.facebook.com/towriteloveonherarms
To Write Love on Her Arms began in Orlando, FL in February 2006 as a (written) story, the true story of five days spent with a friend who was denied entry into a drug treatment center. The story was a look at those five days, and the t-shirts were printedand sold initially as a way to pay for our friend's treatment. The vision is that we actually believe these things… You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters. We live in a difficult world, a broken world. My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck. We all wake to the human condition. We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss. Millions of people live with problems of pain. Millions of homes are filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and aim to stay. We know that pain is very real. It is our privilege to suggest that hope is real, and that help is real. You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption. We're seeing it happen. We're seeing lives change as people get the help they need. People sitting across from a counselor for the first time. People stepping into treatment. In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline. We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take. We want to say here that it's worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change. Beyond treatment, we believe that community is essential, that people need other people, that we were never meant to do life alone. The vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence. The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles. The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate in America and around the world. The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need. The vision is better endings. The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships. The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love. The vision is graduation, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child, a sunrise. The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change. The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead. The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know. The vision is hope, and hope is real. You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.
http://www.facebook.com/towriteloveonherarms
To Write Love on Her Arms began in Orlando, FL in February 2006 as a (written) story, the true story of five days spent with a friend who was denied entry into a drug treatment center. The story was a look at those five days, and the t-shirts were printedand sold initially as a way to pay for our friend's treatment. The vision is that we actually believe these things… You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters. We live in a difficult world, a broken world. My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck. We all wake to the human condition. We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss. Millions of people live with problems of pain. Millions of homes are filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and aim to stay. We know that pain is very real. It is our privilege to suggest that hope is real, and that help is real. You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption. We're seeing it happen. We're seeing lives change as people get the help they need. People sitting across from a counselor for the first time. People stepping into treatment. In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline. We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take. We want to say here that it's worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change. Beyond treatment, we believe that community is essential, that people need other people, that we were never meant to do life alone. The vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence. The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles. The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate in America and around the world. The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need. The vision is better endings. The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships. The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love. The vision is graduation, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child, a sunrise. The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change. The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead. The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know. The vision is hope, and hope is real. You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.
http://www.facebook.com/towriteloveonherarms
11 January, 2011
Chasing Zero
Chasing zero is a group of people who are trying to make zero human errors happen in hospitals. We watched a video on it in health science class last week. I guess it really hit me because I am really prone to error and most of the time I just shrug it off. It might bother me a bit before I go to sleep but that's it. Well.. this lady accidently killed a young woman and her baby by making a simple human error in a hospital. Which, was mostly the hospitals fault for a faulty system. However, if I was her... knowing I had done something that terrible would haunt me for the rest of my life.
Later that week, at my job, we discussed making no mistakes in the work place and chasing zero came back to mind..
Chasing zero doesn't just have to be in healthcare. Everyone should chase zero human error in everything that they do. No one is perfect so of course this would be impossible to do, but if everyone tried a little harder not to make silly mistakes that could be life changing.. and not necessarily life changing but just changing a moment in time... this world would be a better place.
Later that week, at my job, we discussed making no mistakes in the work place and chasing zero came back to mind..
Chasing zero doesn't just have to be in healthcare. Everyone should chase zero human error in everything that they do. No one is perfect so of course this would be impossible to do, but if everyone tried a little harder not to make silly mistakes that could be life changing.. and not necessarily life changing but just changing a moment in time... this world would be a better place.
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